Writing Process - Carnival of Dreams

Let me catch you up if you want to skip all those previous posts! I'm on a journey to write and publish my first RPG adventure. I want to go on to publish multiple adventurers, hopefully improving as I go!

The last month or so I got super busy with writing a totally different adventure, but at the moment I'm back onto Carnival of Dreams.

One of the things about Carnival of dreams is super heroes and super powers, but a more tongue in cheek version. So as I write I tend to start with ideas, then I re-write, and I change and I morph what I have. Eventually I settle on something, for better or for worse, hopefully the better of the options.

As an example of this I was working on the farting super power ..... oh come on what non serious super power set would be complete without some form of flatulence! Each power has its cost, what you can do, and a description. The point of this post is to show the different options and the way things change.

Note the items below would potentially need work and rework in their own right. I have put them in with poor grammar and typos as I hammered in the keys, as it is a look into the process.

So my first description was this ....

A look of peace spreads over the heroes face as their inner tension releases into the world around them. Dirty green gaseous tendrils stretch out from the hero seeking their enemies.

Now that just didn't hit the spot for me. Time to try again ....

A look of relief spreads over the heroes face their whole body seeming to deflate, the tension built up in their guts releasing into the world. Dirty green gaseous tendrils thread their way out of the hero, winding and stretching away searching and probing for enemies.

.. ok getting there but still not what I'm looking for ... maybe third re-write is a charm ..

The heroes eye starts to twitch, the corner of their lip twitching in concert with their eye, their brow furrowed as tension builds up in their whole body. As quickly as the twitching starts it ceases, a look of peace spreading across their face, their body slumping as the tension leaves their body. Murky green gaseous tendrils wrap around their torso before spreading out probing for enemies. If the tendrils touch an enemy they speed up expanding around the enemy smothering their face, pushing into their eyes and nostrils and any available orifice.

..too long too much repetition and just not quite right. Feels like a bit more off track ... dive in for number 4 ...

The heroes eye and mouth twitch, their brow furrowing as tension build sin their whole body. As quickly as it starts the process ends, a look of peace washing over their face their body slumping as the tension leaves their body. Murky green gaseous tendrils wrap around the hero before reaching out for enemies. If the tendrils touch an enemy their flowing speeds up as they expand around the enemy smothering their face and pushing into their eyes nostrils and any available orifice.

...ok a bit better but still too long for me and not quite flowing how I would like it to, back to the keyboard ...

The heroes eye twitches, their brow furrowing as tension contorts their whole body. As quickly as it begins the process ends, their whole body sagging with relief as the tension oozes out of them. Murky green tendrils wrap around the hero before reaching outwards. If the tendrils touch an enemy their flow speeds up as they smother their face, pushing into their eyes, nostrils and any available orifice.

.. Right I'm semi happy at this point. It is certainly closer to what I was looking for. But maybe still not quite there. Lets change it a bit ..

The heroes body spasms as it tenses. A look of peace suddenly washes over their face as the tension oozes out of their bum, murky green tendrils wrapping around the hero, before probing outwards. If the tendrils touch an enemy they seek their eyes, mouth or any available orifice.

Ok I like that one. Might needs some polishing but on the whole I'm not upset with it, but I'll give this one more shot to see what I can get ...

The heroes back arches as spasms wrack their body. As quickly as they begin the spasms stop, a look of peace washing over their face as the tension oozes out of their body, pulsing green tendrils wrapping around the hero before probing outwards. If the tendrils touch an enemy they pulse more quickly as if excited, searching out the enemies eyes, mouth or any other available orifice.

Ok so the last one I like as well. I can already see things I would tweak with it. But I guess what I'm trying to get at, is when you see something written down, in print or online, the author probably put a lot of different versions into it. You may like what they put, you may hate it. The thing is they may well have put a lot more time into trying to get it to resonate with what they are looking for than you realise.

So I'm still not sure on which of the last two I like the most. But I do know I will carry on writing.